Overwhelm

Is everyday life stressful and overwhelming? Here’s 5 reasons why you might be suffering from emotionally paralysing overwhelm, and how you can regain control, and start enjoying life again with one simple process.

Overwhelm. It’s the paralysing emotion that makes you feel as though you can’t cope with your circumstances and everyday life. Worse still, you feel as though you’re completely out of control, which then leads to indecision and procrastination. It’s a vicious cycle.

If you’re experiencing overwhelm, you’ll often catch yourself saying phrases like:

• I’ll never get this done …
• I can’t handle this …
• This is just too much…
• I can’t do this by myself …

Because when you’re overwhelmed, you simply can’t see things clearly, which then creates confusion, and puts you into a vulnerable state where you feel as though things are out of your control. So, because your problems seem bigger than they really are, you’ll more than likely indulge in negativity, procrastination, complaining, and blaming others for your circumstances.

Sound familiar?

A lot of the reasons why you’re feeling overwhelmed are actually within your control. And even though it might be hard to believe, by making different choices and decisions, you can effectively overcome your feelings of overwhelm, and start enjoying life again.

But first, let’s start at the beginning.

Here’s 5 simple reasons why you might be feeling overwhelmed.

1. High standards and expectations
You might be feeling overwhelmed because you have such high standards and expectations of yourself. You might even have expectations of perfection, which are incredibly difficult, and generally unrealistic, to live up to.

2. Too many things on your mind
If you’re trying to do more than you can physically and/or emotionally handle, this can often lead to a feeling of overwhelm. You simply have too many things on your mind, too many responsibilities, too many commitments, and absolutely no hope in the world of doing everything by yourself.

3. No priorities
If you haven’t taken the time to prioritise your everyday tasks or life in a way that will help you get things done productively and effectively, you’ll more than likely feel overwhelmed, jumping from one thing to the next without any sense of direction or control.

4. Inability to delegate
Do you think of yourself as the Lone Ranger? You know, you have so much to do (way more than one person can realistically handle), but you’re the Lone Ranger! Nobody else is good enough, and nobody will ever do a better job than you. Sound familiar? And because you’re afraid to delegate responsibility to others, you’re actually losing control by not being able to keep up with everything that needs to be done. Ironic, right?!

5. Inability to say no
Are you one of those people who just can’t say no to other people’s requests? Every time someone asks you for something or wants your help in some way, you immediately say yes. But the more time and energy you give away to other people, the less time and energy you have to focus on important areas of your own life. Which means your important tasks keep piling up and up, until you reach breaking point, and you end up stressed and overwhelmed.

So, what can you do to overcome the feeling of overwhelm, and get back in control of your life?

Think of your life like a bucket. And throughout your lifetime, all your experiences and emotions go into that bucket.

The problem is, when your bucket has too much in it with everyday expectations, responsibilities, and demands, it overflows, and you’ll end up stressed and overwhelmed. Which is when you’ll get stuck in a highly emotional state, or crash and burn!

But there’s one simple thing you can do to make sure your life bucket doesn’t overflow!

Make a list of everything going on in your life right now. Then, put the list into 3 columns; “essential”, “need to do this”, and “I can let go”.

Now, write down everything you can think of in your busy schedule, work, kids, their activities, hobbies, and other caring duties.

The essential list is going to be taking care of loved ones, but there might be things you do that you no longer need to, or you could delegate to someone else. What do I mean? For example, you could reduce the number of activities your children do, or take it in turns with other parents for drop offs and pick ups.
And, if there’s something you’re doing and no-one’s helping, things like household chores, can you ask for help?

If you feel like you can’t ask, what’s the limiting belief that’s holding you back from being able to ask for what you need?

Once you’ve got a clearer picture of what you need to keep, who you can ask for support, and what you can let go of, then the amount of pressure in your life bucket will reduce. Which in turn means the feeling of overwhelm will lessen.

But it’s also good to ask yourself what else is in your life bucket? Old resentments, burning frustrations, old pain, or wounds? Then ask yourself if it’s time to let go of those old emotions because they’re weighing you down?

For some people, although they might not have too many demands in a practical sense, the sense of overwhelm can still occur. Why? It could be that distressing experiences from the past are filling their life bucket and making it overflow. Which could mean they become distressed at the thought of going out and socialising, they might be grumpy with their partner, or a tyrant with their kids.

Summing up

So, if any of this is sounding familiar, but you need support to move on, it’s okay to seek help. Because even though we might want to let go, sometimes it feels like the past doesn’t want to let go of us, doesn’t it?

Don’t just cope with life … live it! You only get one go, so isn’t it time to move on and start enjoying life again?

If you need support to move on, let’s have a confidential chat about how I can help you turn your life around. Take the first step by getting in touch with me at carol@moveoncounselling.com.au, or give me a call on 0429 922 765, I’d love to hear from you.